December 16, 2004
Interview with Judge Harvey
Here is my recent interview with Harvey, judge and blogmaster at Bad Example:
1. What do you feel makes you a good judge?
I am a good judge because I have amongst my weaponry such diverse elements as fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and an almost fanatical devotion to the King of the Blogs Tournament. Pretenders deemed unworthy will be given the comfy chair without hesitation.
2. What do you suggest the Pretenders do to assure themselves the
crown, at least from your perspective?
Arrogance, hubris, overweening pride, gratuitous self-linkage, and sucking up to the judges are all important traits of a future monarch. Pictures of scantily-clad women in compromising positions are also helpful.
3. Why are you such a Bad Example? Is it possibly due to your 18 years
living among the wild gorillas?
I believe the children are our future, and - since I don't have any of my own - I must do everything I can to corrupt other people's children. As they grow to adulthood - scarred, emotionally crippled, and intellectually incompetent - they can pose no threat to my continued employment as I wait out the clock towards retirement & senescence.
As for the gorilla thing... what can I say? I had a mad crush on Dian Fossey, and it seemed like the best way to catch her eye.
4. In a fight between Homer Simpson and Fred Flintstone who would win?
No question - Homer would wear Flintstone's intestines for a necktie. Mostly because Fred was drawn by the talentless hack animators at Hanna-Barbera. I doubt they could even DRAW a fist, much less get it to land
on Homer.
5. Would it be a good idea for the Pretenders to send him marked up
$1 bills, to cover all their bases, creative bribes, as well as
monetary?
I believe that heaping mounds of currency - with or without graffiti on it - will, indeed, be the key to winning the King of the Blogs Tournament.
Posted by Nick Queen at December 16, 2004 09:37 AM
That, and pictures of scantily-clad women in compromising positions.
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