Interview with the King

I sat down and had a talk with the current King, personal trainer. Before you read this I would suggest paying a trip to the bathroom and the kitchen. You will need snacks during this. He is a rather long-winded chap.

1. You have done a meticulous job of sucking up to everyone involved in the KOTB Tournament. You are constantly linking and trackbacking to us all. Will this continue as long as you are King, or is it just a temporary tool to cement your power?

What do you mean "sucking up?" I resemble that remark. In my line of work (pastoring) we call that "building redemptive relationships." Rest assured that I will pay homage right to the end of my reign. I know which side my bread is buttered on. On the serious side, I have really enjoyed getting to know each one of the judges, hosts, and the commish. I know I will keep visiting their blogs long after my throne is usurped by some lesser king.

2. How would you sum up your competition in the previous weeks? You have come out of two contests now as the winner. Do you think this current week's competition is any better?

Well, let's see...during the first week one guy was canned for failure to participate, while the reigning Queen succumbed to my imprecatory prayers. Dory at Wittenberg Gate tossed her hat into the ring a little late and was honestly just too nice to win.

The second week brought along a couple evangelical blogs. Jason at Trommeter Times had me worried at first because he was a veteran blogger, but one of his emoticons didn't like being "really bummed" all the time. I bribed the little yellow guy and he sabotaged Jason's effort by destroying the last part of his creative entry. No way Jason could win after that. David at Loose Ends was just too smart to be king. I had Joe Carter post that question at EO about Puritans and Americanism, and that was the last we heard from Dave until he posted that thesis. By then, the contest was over.

Week three had me a little scared. I wasn't too worried about the pistol-packin grandma from Michigan--you know what Buckeyes do to Wolverines every year. That is until she threatened me today...I saw she was lagging quite a bit, so I sent her a nice encouraging e-mail. Here's the text: "Hang in there! It's not over yet, and it's all a very good learning experience. I'm just glad I'm out of firing range from you...of what use is a sword against a handgun?" Well, you know what I got back? This: "*chuckle* In cyberspace, no one is out of range...." I called the State Highway Patrol today and we've tightened up the borders. Scott from Slant Point had me seriously worried. Have you seen the numbers on that guys site counter?! I thought I was a goner. But I must admit to a secret weapon. I have a congregation at my disposal. A whole host of faithful fiends ready and willing to vote at the mere mention of a need. I've learned that "one congregation in the hand is better than a host of invisible visitors on the blog." If Scott turned his visitors into voters, he'd be unstoppable. He's also the John Bunyan of political allegory. I left a note on his site and told him "he'd get my vote if I wasn't me."

I really have enjoyed the competition. It's been fun to poke fun at each other, and I know some of these cyber relationships are going to endure. I'd like to thanks Dory, Jason, and David for helping me out in later contests. A king has got to be able to turn former foes into friends...they know how how valuable trackbacks are!

3. What is the weakest thing about your site?

Weakest thing about the site? All the changes Harv asked me to make that I have to change back after the competition.

4. What is the best thing about your site?

Best thing about the site? All the changes Songstress asked me to make that I can’t believe I hadn't done before and that I'll keep forever.