King of the Blogs

Interview with the Queen

1) You came from behind to capture the crown from View from the Pew by getting more of your loyal subjects to cast votes for you than anyone else in the contest. Would you like to take a moment and thank them for their service?

Oh hell no! Well, I will make an exception for the people who don't know me personally and voted for me anyway. Gracias!

As for the people who do know me, well I know who voted for me and they owed me big time. Mom, Gus and Roland, I'm staring at you!

And I resent the idea that I came from behind, my tactics usually involve stealthy night attacks at all angles (in my sexy ninja costume). Don't you guys know what ninjas do?

2) You now stand as only the 2nd Queen of the Blogs, with the current KOTB Judge, News from the Great Beyond being the other. How does this make you feel? Do you think that you have to hold yourself to a higher standard than you would if you were a King?

I'm not that surprised that there are only two Queens at this point in time. You can't have too many Queens in this world, there's too many egos at stake. We'd probably end up mudwrestling in a strip club at high noon. Yeah it would be fun for the guys, but after a while, it just wouldn't be special. *cough*

Besides, a girl has to have her standards. I don't mudwrestle just anyone.

I think the whole higher standards based on gender deal is silly. Of course I hold myself up to a higher standard, but that's not a gender issue for me. As royalty, I am supposed to follow rules, and I will, as long as it suits me. My rules, my throne, at least for this week.

3) Your blog has been around since July 2001. Do you think your age gives you an advantage over your competition?

My age...heh, you make me sound positively ancient. I guess blog years work like dog years.

I think the age of my blog (not me - I'm only 30!) has disadvantages that newer websites don't have. For one, I don't have the fresh attitude that a person has when they first start writing. I used to write daily accounts, and now I find that I usually write when I have time, not when I have ideas in my head. I'm a lot lazier too. I used to have audio posts, and I posted more pictures in the past, but my education has taken a toll on my blogging (my engineering major has ruined my social life).

Secondly, after a while, people started reading my website and I was not as forthcoming about my personal life (especially my sex life). I still write about sex, but I cut down on the personal details. I've also learned that it is a bad idea to write about how I really feel about the people I know. Most of my family reads my site, and many of my friends do as well, so it's difficult to be straightforward about my feelings. Plus you never know who will run into your site, and since I have my face plastered on the front page, it's hard to stay anonymous.

There are a few advantages though. After all these years, I've figured out what people like to see in a layout, and my site is a result of reader feedback and many years of tweaking.

I've also gotten over the idea that I might be famous for blogging. I still would like to reach a greater audience, but I'm not ready to change my format for a larger market. I already have a great group of people who regularly stop by to read my journal, so I can't ask for more than that, especially since I'm writing for myself, not them.

Overall, I think having experience helped because I didn't make any huge errors of judgement with my posts. I know that I am not a "serious" blogger so I chose to work with my strengths (comedy/sexual content), rather than trying to compete with people who are used to writing thoughtful posts. I guess it worked because I'm the Queen until the next battle!

KOTB - Rulings - Week 2

Final Ruling - Week 2

View from the Pew 39
Aggressive Progressive 34
Cyn's Sim 39.5

So that would mean that Cyn's Sim is the latest Queen of the Blogs!

Folks, this came down to the voting in the poll on the King of the Blogs site. View was in the lead, until we tabulated the points from the voting. And with the 3 points that Cyn got from the poll, she was able to claim the lead and become the new Queen of the Blogs.

KING OF THE BLOGS: JUDGMENT DAY 2

One man sits on the throne, and a mixed double of challengers eye it hungrily.

Could this finally be the week when a warrior hottie claims SOLE possession of The Big Chair?

Let's find out.

If you are crowned King, what King from history or popular culture would you emulate and why?

Warren of View From The Pew
GOOD POINTS: Suave segue neatly disguises the fact that this is a mandatory assignment and NOT a typical, voluntary post. Future competitors should learn from the master and avoid bland, factual introductions. MAKE UP ANOTHER REASON FOR YOUR POST. It's much more entertaining that way.
BAD POINTS: "imitate his reign"... "surrounds himself"... "And this way"... didn't I warn you about stealing other people's typo shtick last week? You keep this up, and I'll be forced to vote on considering discussing a resolution - and maybe even eventually PASSING it!
SCORE: 5

T.A.P of The Aggressive Progressive
GOOD POINTS: Great off-the-wall angle on the King question. Bonus for pushing my nostalgia button by mentioning Quisp.
BAD POINTS: The Pat Robertson reference seemed a little forced & awkward. Probably could've been improved by referencing an intolerant bigot who held ACTUAL political power. Hitler, Stalin, or even the Pope maybe.
SCORE: 4

Cyn of Cyn's Sim
GOOD POINTS: Not one, but TWO pictures of big-eyed, long-haired brunettes. Either she's been reading my blog, or she's a lucky guesser. Either way - BONUS! Other great things - the mental image of the Blog War Dance just made me giggle; I liked the over-the-edge choice of RuPaul for "Queen"; finally, she gives explicit credit to BOTH of her image sources. VERY classy.
BAD POINTS: None visible
SCORE: 5

View From The Pew
GOOD POINTS: Extremely well-constructed piece on how Christians ought to be taking their message to those who need it most, whether they want to or not. I enjoyed how the tagline was woven throughout the essay to give it unity.
BAD POINTS: Perpetuates unfair stereotypes against Samarians as smelly sinners. VERY insensitive.
SCORE: 5

The Aggressive Progressive
GOOD POINTS: One of the most self-absorbed posts I've ever read - ME! ME! ME! Narcissism is a necessary trait in an effective monarch, so bonus on that.
BAD POINTS: Squanders bonus by failing to give link to the post he's complaining about. If you don't want to drive traffic to someone you don't like that's fine, but in that case, at least have the courtesy to quote the post extensively so that your readers know what you're talking about. A Fisking may have been more appropriate here.
SCORE: 3.5

Cyn's Sim
GOOD POINTS: The phrase "from the dirty but not stinky pile" just rocks. Also cool is the fact that - even wearing her dirty-but-not-stinkies, and having a head full of sleep and/or oil, she STILL can't look as skank as Britney.
BAD POINTS: She made me look at skanky ol' Britney. I'm sending her the bill for my retinal reconstructive surgery.
SCORE: 5

Here are some technical things I like to see on a blog:

King of the Blogs javascript thingy in the sidebar
Comments enabled
Permalinks working
E-mail contact info available
Blogger's name/pseudonym prominently displayed
Site search feature enabled
Link to an "About Me" post on the sidebar
Blogger's gender is easily discernable
Blogroll
Readable font style & size
Readable color scheme (for example, NOT bright red type on bright green
background)
Divisions between posts clearly marked
Paragraphing in entries (NOT just writing one fat block of text)

Aside from the tech stuff, I also like to see a blogger's personality shining through, to
remind us of the person behind the words.

With that in mind...

View From The Pew:
GOOD POINTS: Nothing but. All his techs are in order, plus he actually took my corrective advice from last week. Color me flattered.
BAD POINTS: One more suggestion, but I won't subtract for it. The link to the "About Me" post should probably go right above the contact e-mail address. Currently, it's right under the Creative Commons License stuff. The CCL is one of those things that just shouts "IGNORE ME!", and it's zone of invisibility may tend to obscure the "About Me" link with it's psychological halo.

SCORE: 5

The Aggressive Progressive:
GOOD POINTS: Excellent non-annoying use of the color yellow in the sidebar - normally to be avoided at all costs, but T.A.P. makes it work. I also really like this template's use of thin lines to keep the title, post body, and footer-information separated. Easy on the eyes, easy to use.

BAD POINTS: A little skimpy with the contact info - this is nominally a group blog, yet only one of the listed authors has a contact e-mail in their profile. I guess it's a good thing that T.A.P. is pretty much the only one posting. Another irritation is that gender is not obvious with either T.A.P. or The Almighty. I'm a little uncomfortable writing about a blogger if I don't know which pronoun to use. I'm going with "male" though, because "mike" is part of T.A.P's e-mail address.

SCORE: 3.5

Cyn's Sim
GOOD POINTS: Technically flawless. She's got everything I like to see in a blog. Bonus for the quite fetching picture of herself displayed prominently above the fold. Bonus bonus for the KotB haiku. Other bonus for having blogged since pre-9/11. Talk about longevity! WOW! I hope *I* live that long!

BAD POINTS: Just a few minor things that raised an eyebrow. First... what is Cyn short for? Cynamyn? Cynara? Cyndee? Cyndi? Cyndy? Cyneria? Cynethia? Cynithia? Cynna? Cynth? Cynthea? Cynthia? Cynthiana? Cynthiann? Cynthie? Cynthria? Cynthy? Cynthya? Cyntreia?
...just curious.

Second, Cyn's blogroll is listed by the blogger's first name instead of the blog's name. There's nothing inherently wrong with that - her blog, her call - and it's functional if you're just surfing off it. However, Cyn, you might consider that your blogroll also serves as advertising for the people on it, and listing their blog names is more likely to get them random surfer traffic than listing their real names. Just something to think about.

Finally, the post title font is the same size as the post text font. For aesthetic purposes, you might consider making the title font a few points larger to give it a little more emphasis - more of a "headline" feel.

SCORE: 4.5

View From The Pew: 15
The Aggressive Progressive: 11
Cyn's Sim: 14.5

King of the Blogs Tournament: Week Two Judging!

Congratulations to last week's victor, Warren at View From the Pew... but alas, he was not allowed to rest easy in his reign, and immediately began defending his crown against this week's pretenders to the throne, the Aggressive Progressive and Cyn’s Sim.
Without further ado, The Queen's rulings:

Overall Blog/Design

View From the Pew: I see Warren has been hard at work and taking last week's comments from the judges to heart. The banner graphics on the sides that were broken have now been replaced, and he has an interesting new graphic for the title. The comments and trackback links have been moved to the bottom of each post, which was a very useful comment from Judge Harvey. I also see a link has been added to Warren's Blogger profile, which is a very good move. We now feel like we know a bit more about Warren without having t o read every single post in the archives - not that he doesn't want us to *wink*. My positive comments from last week still apply. However, my comments on the overall graphic design still apply too. It's nice, it's readable... but still missing some "pizzazz". The new graphic with the title is snazzy, but doesn't really fit with the color scheme and very basic fonts/layout of the rest of the site. I know what you need! MORE COWBELL! (Ahem. Sorry.) Anyway, I have seen improvements, and that is worth an upgrade in the overall rating: View From the Pew gets a 4.

Aggressive Progressive: Very nice design - a simple, clean look with a color scheme that pulls it all together and a banner graphic that looks professional and displays the author's - or at least the blog's - personality. As for other elements of the blog, comments and trackback are in place, the blogroll gives us a sense of community... overall I'm impressed. Now let's consider the all-important "about me" information. The Aggressive Progressive gives us a sidebar section on "Contributors" with links to several Blogger profiles. I assume each of these individuals is a contributor to this blog... Some of the profiles have precious little information; however since "The Aggressive Progressive" seems to be not only the name of this blog but the screen name of the main contributor, I'll just focus on this one. I'm going to have to assume that AggPro is male, because the "photo" cartoon provided has a moustache and goatee. I see the contact e-mail gives us the name "Mike". OK, Mike. We know your current profession, and your location, but other than what you write about we really don't know much else about you. Perhaps you don't want us to. That's your prerogative. It's also our prerogative to decide we don't care what you think. Reading his other posts, I sense a lot of vitriol in this Mike person, and I feel like I'm opening myself up for all kinds of abuse if I make any negative comments relative to the overall tone and content, so I'll shelve my thoughts on that and stick to the technical merits. I will say, though, that entering a competition where all three judges, both hosts and the commissioner are all political conservatives, with a blog that is so very aggressively liberal, Mike was probably expecting some politically-based bashing in this contest. In fact, he might even be hoping for it. I'm not going there. A few constructive comments instead: searchable archives would be a real plus. As a reader, I'd also rather not be assaulted with the Google Ads first thing. You're probably not getting a lot of revenue from them in any event, so perhaps bumping the contributors links to the top would give this a little more personal of a feel and less "I want this blog to make me money." The Aggressive Progressive gets an overall 4.

Cyn’s Sim: Positives: not one, but 4 simple, clean, cohesive designs to choose from. Working comments and trackback. Nice, understated banner graphics and color schemes. Searchable archives. A real photo. An "about me" post that gives us a pretty good idea about who Cyn is and what her interests are. Only one Google Ad to assault us upon our introduction to the site, and it's unobtrusively placed. A blogroll and other external links of interest that give us an even better feel for Cyn. Negatives: The "Simple Grey" skin has no banner graphic (or at least it doesn't appear whether I view it in Firefox or IE6.0) and appears to have some spacing issues between the photo and the skin chooser. Overall, the majority of the content is personal updates that few people but Cyn's friends and family members will find in the least interesting. I do a fair amount of that myself, so I can't complain too much. However, for those who are new to my site I do provide category archives and a list of "best of" posts for those who don't care about my electrical problems and what classic novel I am. I'd like to see more content aimed at people who don't know her personally that would draw them into her world: amusing stories, perhaps, or exposition about some of her interests. However, Cyn makes it clear that this site is intended to be merely a journal, and as such, it is what it she wants it to be. I really like this site, and I really want to like it more. More thoughtful, storytelling, or interest-sharing posts will draw new readers in, and put the more mundane journal-type entries ("Dishes done" updates and the like) in the context of an interesting person who we want to know. A good start, with a lot of technical merit. Cyn’s Sim earns an overall 4.

Submitted Post

View From the Pew: Another well written and thoughtful piece. I like the personal touch, bringing your little girl into the post and relating this spiritual lesson to the Veggie Tales Jonah movie. I now have "Jonah Was a Prophet" stuck in my head. Thanks. (No really, I love the Veggie Tales. I won't hold it against you.) Another 4 for the submitted post.

Aggressive Progressive: A poor choice for your submitted post. Aside from a couple of nit-picky spelling/word choice errors (fourth instead of forth, and a missing "T" in "them's fightin' words"), I have no complaints about the writing. You clearly have a way with words, which is as it should be given your career field. However, you have opened up quite the window on your personality by describing your penchant for picking fights with other bloggers, who do not appear to have done a single thing to deserve it. This contempt and abuse of your potential future subjects is unbecoming in a contender for the King of the Blogs throne, and I for one have reservations about crowning such a tyrant. Mike, seriously, your writing is good, but what you're doing here makes you nothing more than a particularly literate troll. I would not have chosen to comment on this post had you not submitted it as a featured example of your writing. You would have been better served to submit something that was more thought-provoking and political (such as this post), or more representative of your sarcastic humor (such as this one). Snark is fine - I read Television Without Pity, so I can appreciate a good snarky post. While I may not specifically agree with your views in either of those posts, I can respect your expression of your thoughts and beliefs, and set my personal feelings aside enough to judge those on their merits. However, given the post you elected to submit instead, I rate your submitted post a 2.5. It would be much lower if it were not for your quality writing. If you choose to enter this competition again, I hope you will take this as constructive criticism. Give us something thoughtful, or something funny, but not something mean-spirited and nasty.

Cyn’s Sim: See, this is what we should have gotten from illogicology last week. This is quirky and fun, and the not-so-subtle Britney-bashing earns points in my book. Ah, the glamour. You too can look like Britney. How the mighty pop star hath fallen. Hee. I can appreciate a light-hearted post as much as a thought-provoking one as long as it is well-expressed and draws me in. Thus, this one earns a 4.

Challenge Post

View From the Pew: The presentation is a little less creative than last week's "press release" style... but also a step up from the "this is the question, and this is the answer" type challenge response, which would get points knocked off for sure. On the merits of the response, bonus points for the Monty Python and the Holy Grail references. Good job applying each suggested role model for Kingship to the concept of your reign in the blogosphere. Humorous, with a good dash of sucking up to the judges and the Commissioner. And while extending your Arthurian reign analogy to the "once and future king" concept shows humility, you should know that the judges generally consider humility a sign of weakness *grin*. This fine challenge post earns a 4.

Aggressive Progressive: OK, what the heck? I have never in my life seen or heard of King Vitamin. This must be a regional thing. Having spent most of my life in the Southwestern US, perhaps it just isn't sold here. Some explanatory linkage would have been helpful for those of us who have been living in a cave - or maybe just Phoenix - for the last 30-some-odd years. However, I figure Mike just wasn't aware that this Quaker cereal brand isn't sold throughout the whole country, so I'll forgive it. This time. The reference to Pat Robertson beating the heck out of the Rice Krispies guys also lost me - if this was a mental adventure of yours, Mike, that is kind of amusing, but if you didn't come up with it yourself, explanatory linkage would be most appreciated. The Torquemada reference also really needed an explanatory link for those who have no clue about what you're getting at. Aside from all that, the nostalgic kids' cereal references were a nice touch. By this post I presume you mean to rule the blogosphere as a benevolent, peaceful King who is tolerant of all manner of "freaks" within the blogosphere and intends to be inclusive and make all feel valued? (Must I point out how starkly this contrasts with your submitted post?) But on to the ruling. A nice, creative choice of kings to emulate. The format of the post could stand a good shot of creativity, though. Perhaps done as an interview with Time Magazine, or the transcript of an episode of the Jerry Springer show. Photoshop attempts, even if not technically proficient, are always appreciated. Pretenders to the throne, take note. Just answering the question is not sufficient to wow at least this judge. The lack of format creativity in this response, along with the lack of explanatory linkage where it would have been most useful, earns this post a 3.5.

Cyn’s Sim: I have a feeling Harvey is really going to go for this answer. Being female myself, I admire your sense of style by choosing the Queen of Bollywood as your exotic role model. As one who appreciates a good, campy movie where folks break out into dance routines at the drop of a hat (have you ever seen Love's Labour's Lost with Kenneth Branagh?) I am digging the mental image of random dance scenes throughout the blogosphere and resolving international disputes with a good dance competition. Explanatory linkage is provided, which is a plus. More creative presentation, while time-consuming for a busy student-type, would have been a major plus. For instance, I can totally envision a video clip of Cyn in said Punjabi outfit, presiding over the resolution of international disputes via dance-off. Since this was in the "here's the question, here's the answer" format, I should probably go lower on the rating, but this response exhibits the proper confidence and poise of a worthy successor to the first and only Queen of the Blogs. I call it a 4.

The Queen's Rulings
View From the Pew: 12
Aggressive Progressive: 10
Cyn’s Sim: 12

I have no doubt my fellow judges will break this tie. It's going to be a close one in any event. Congratulations, worthy competitors all.

SmarterCop
View From the Pew

Site:

I hold reigning kings to a higher standard. So... when I see absolutely no separation between posts (even, you know, a little dotted line), as I suggested last week, I start to thinking the king is getting a little too comfortable in his throne. Perhaps I should start removing some of those comfy cushions... Alas, it seems nothing has changed, and the readability of the sidebar has had little to no improvement. As if that weren't enough, I think I've managed to dig up an additional beef I have against blog*s--t. It's probably nothing, but I dislike intensely the inability to move quickly and efficiently from individual posts to the main blog page. Also, I think the archiving could have been done better. I expect great things from Warren - he has such great uplifting, challenging posts, but I fear he's not the well-rounded king I had hoped for! Please convince me! 3 points.

Post:
I'm getting to like Warren's posts - not merely because I'm overly knowledgeable on theology, or because I share the kinship of Christ with him... but more because of posts like today, which slammed me harder than the proverbial kick in the pants and challenged me personally. There are countless times in life when we are confronted with or by people we just don't like. What do we do in those situations? I know there are an awful lot of people like that whom I've come across in my life, and I regret the choices I've made when those situations have come my way. Truly, what value is love when you already like a person - the true test of the kind of love that Jesus had for us is to love our worst enemies as we love ourselves. Thanks for the challenge, Warren. (Still, there's something about funky breath that's just. Not. My. Responsibility. to take care of... I just tell the individual to pop a mint :).) 5 points.

Challenge Question:

Warren sticks with a safe answer here. As with gymnastics and diving, the difficulty level is the basis for the maximum amount of points given. In this case, he chooses to emulate Arthur, King of the Brits. With this historical tribute come the highly expected references to Monty Python, causing me to hesitate for a moment and imagine Graham Chapman (who is, coincidentally, dead as a parrot) in a leadership role. That's when I decide to stop the tape. 3 points.

Aggressive Progressive
Site:

Mr. Aggressive Progressive has quite a spiffy looking blog, and the title and caption simply leaps out at you. The color scheme is a bit subdued for the kind of image he's trying to portray; however the blues reflect his political leaning well, and the shades are complementary - Well, except for that distracting bit of yellow in the blogroll... Alright, enough metro sexual speak here. I freely admit that the AP's views are 180 degrees different from my own; but differences of opinion removed, everything is fully in order. Trackbacks and comments are in place, and archival information is done as good as blog*s--t can (ahem) handle it. AP should consider himself lucky - I used to take off MAJOR points for using Blogger. With regard to the overall substance of this blog's posts, I'm going to leave that to the other two categories. There's more than enough red meat here to barbecue, but that's not listed in my job description as King of the Blogs judge. It's too bad there's no search feature, as I was curious to see how many times 'Karl Rove' and 'Rush' were mentioned site wide. Perhaps I should make a search feature compulsory in future site judging. Perhaps I should go more anal on these critiques. Perhaps.... perhaps, in the event of a change of heart or politics, this blog has a potential. I'll go with my heart, not my head. 4 points.

Post:

Many people equate the word 'progressive' with meaningful, positive change.... you know, like learning from past mistakes. In this case, Mr. Aggressive Progressive apparently didn't learn from our reaction to the sprinkling of Language Rougher Than PG-13 within the confines of I Hate My Cubicle. Not only was that a lesson left unlearned, but the wound was further deepened by the inclusion of a less-than-family-friendly word, of all places, in the title. As much as I find the use of the word a**clown intriguing (it was pioneered by local talk show conservative personality Todd Schnitt BTW), I will from this point on substitute 'dolt'... it has the same general meaning, without compromising the integrity of the posterior anatomy. Now, having said that, if there's one thing that I hate worse than a blog bashing another blog, it's a blog bashing another blog for bashing a blog for no readily apparent reason (other than the opinion of the poster). This torrent of negative navel-gazing is the antithesis of the fabled Instalanch, and quickly compounds itself into a bandwidth-wasting exchange of empty, demeaning insults. In this instance, we have Mr. Dolt insulting Dr. Dolt without any semblance of constructive thought (i.e. ideas on how to improve)... and then Mr. Dolt is surprised when Dr. Dolt takes offense? In old-school lore, this would be considered a "flame war" - i.e, a bunch of flamers picking up big sticks and beating each other over the head for the sake of hearing that loud "thunk" of wood against skull. Oddly enough, it's usually the first offender who's most surprised that he's getting soundly decimated, as if he was just an innocent bystander. It's not like I'm an innocent bystander either. In fact, I'm extending the life cycle of this particular war, by being a blog bashing another blog bashing another blog for bashing blogs. But then again, if the Aggressive Progressive wanted to avoid such abuse, or if he thought so minutely of blogs who are allegedly 'unqualified' to review and/or criticize other blogs, then what's he doing scrambling for a position at the top of this hill? 2 points.

Challenge Question:

Hmm. Bad trip? And he just HAD to mention 'Jesus Freaks', didn't he? TAG leads me to wonder whether he was just checking if he would be 'discriminated' against because he was a lefty. This post confirms that the discrimination is against bad taste, not a difference of opinion. It's sad that I have to deal with both at the same time. 2 points.

Cyn's Sim

Site:

This is a crisp, cleanly-designed blog with a lot of personality. Cyn appears to be more of a life-blogger, which is quite alright, as she appears to have somewhat of a spicy life. Additionally, her dry sense of humor keeps readers like me glued. There are a few times in which the blog strays toward the hedonistic, but Cyn does a good job of reining the bawdiness in and settling for the more mainstream (and many may think more scintillating) double-entendre. The biographical information was a bit harder to find than I wanted, but it's there and quite well-written once you get to it. Comments and trackbacks are there, and archives are arranged monthly. The King of the Blogs logo is present, though the blogroll is not quite complete, if you know what I mean! I particularly like her little haiku on KOTB in the sidebar, as I happen to be a big fan of haiku. One more minor detail - I noticed that some of the pictures she's linked to for the various memes in which she's participated have broken links... it distracts from the overall clean, well-structured format of her blog. Other than that, fine going! 4 points.

Post:
Call me a lightweight, but I like people who do a better job at aping Britney Spears than the bubblegum queen herself. I also like people who sport homophones for things I shouldn't do. Awaiting those who dare to compare. 3 points.

Challenge Question:

If only all gang fights were like "West Side Story," right? If only all King of the Blogs contestants were good at portraying themselves as larger than life.... ah, but they do. I sure wouldn't mind a hottie as Queen (but I would demand my own summary execution should RuPaul assume the throne). I mean, Amidala did a pretty good job of governing Naboo, right? Oh, but wait; she gave an important job to Jar Jar. Never mind. I wouldn't want a queen dancing all the time. Some of the downwardly mobile leaders of the world wouldn't be able to relate. Bonus points for PICTURES! Negative points for mentioning the Unholy Trinity of queendom. 3 points.

King of the Blog Tournament: Week 2

Hello,

Welcome to the return of the King of the Blog Tournament!

First all must hail the King, who will defend the crown:

This week we have 2 blogs squaring off for the crown:

Good luck to both Pretenders. The judges for the tournament are as follows:

and on to the entries:

For submitted post:

View From the Pew
Aggressive Progressive
Cyn's Sim

and this weeks Challenge Question:

The Responses:

None yet!

That's it for now! Be sure to support your favorite pretender by linking to THIS post and tracking back to it. Mention the blog of your choice in the entry. Whichever blog gets the most trackbacks gains 3 extra points once again. Need help sending a trackback? Say no more! Go to this site, and use Wizbang's Standalone Trackback Pinger.

Next Week's Pretenders

View from the Pew has came out on top this week in King of the Blogs, but his rule may be short if he cannot defeat next week's contenders:

Aggressive Progressive
Cyn's Sim

Good luck to all!

KOTB - Rulings

Final Ruling

View from the Pew 40
I Hate My Cubicle 31.5
illogicology 28.5

So that would mean that View from the Pew is the latest King of the Blogs!

SmarterCops:

I Hate My Cubicle

Site:

Let me first emphasize that if you choose the little red box up top near the title bar of Steve's blog, you must REALLY hate your cubicle, because chances are you won't be working there much longer. I am heavily grateful for the warning, but decided to check the whole blog out from home just in case one of his posts was, er, miscategorized. In providing such mature content, Steve comes painfully close to being disqualified for content which exceeds the PG-13 level GREATLY. However, with the content being restricted by a series of warning screens, I decided to give this competitor a little slack, because what little original content he did provide was of high quality. I only wish he were able to write more original essays. Additionally, there appears to be nothing here about the author/editor of the blog, nor is there any contact information.

Overall, the site's pretty but it tends to resemble a one-man Fark more than anything else.

3 points

Post:

If I had any feelings for my fellow man left in me, I would probably have given this post 5 points for charity. Unfortunately, nearly everyone, including myself, has experienced this type of utter frustration at the hands of some business at one time or another. In fact, I have just recently been the victim of the inexplicable Companywide Fax Machine Shutdown - you know the one where they ask you to fax an important document RIGHT AWAY, and you fax it, and two days later you call back and they haven't gotten it, and they give you another fax number, and.... well you'd probably be able to finish the story yourself at this point.

But of course this isn't about me, or any of the other hundred million who've gone through Customer Support Hell... this is about Steve and his ability to transcend the traditional irate customer story with a twist of his own. And in grand Hitchcockian fashion, he proceeds to weave a tale so ornate, so dripping with suspense and anticipation
that I was beginning to imagine the stoic face of Anthony Perkins on the 17-year-old newbie as the power mysteriously goes out during the tale's climax.

Tragically, however, Steve's captivating post falls victim to a timeless monster that has plagued writers for as long as there has been paper to write on - that clumsy, plodding beast called Deus Ex Machina. Somehow, when we were expecting the poor downtrodden customer to grab a shotgun and march down to the store with a mission, somehow, mysteriously, all the plot twists mysteriously unraveled and the story was sewed up all neat and tidy with - (gasp) a happy ending! Egads, this doesn't happen! Not only that, but you validated your entire negative experience with Fry's by spending ten times more than what you *eventually* got back. So what was the point of the story -that he would make all of this fuss about 20 dollars and when he finally gets credit for the money, simply beg to have it happen to him all over again? Surprise, surprise. Like his seemingly endless narrative which ends with everyone living happily ever after, I'm going to top this great big heaping scoop of ice-cold review with a cherry.

5 points

Challenge Question:

Steve runs into creative overload with his answer to the Challenge Question, though he ran into somewhat of a roadblock at first by catering to the 'Profanity is Funny' crowd (for which an ample audience exists, among which I am not counted). There are also a
number of technical issues which need to be addressed:

- If your compulsory order for the entire population of your realm to eat a Hardee's thickburger is carried out, chances our at least half of its population will be decimated by
the third bite. I would suggest that you mandate cardiac surgeon training for your smarter citizens.

- If you like to imbibe, be warned that a ban on bees will greatly diminish your planet's supply of hops, wheat, barley, grapes, or any necessary component of an alcoholic beverage.

- Programmers work, thank you very much. Despite this, your tax laws rock.

4 points

illogicology

Site:

There's not much more one can say about a grey-on-black design except that it's ready and waiting for a template. However much Owen would wish to portray that he doesn't care what you think about his blog, he has obviously made his intentions painfully clear by competing for King of the Blogs. To his credit, he has made his identity known...and he doesn't blog about cats! If he could just stop blogging that he didn't care how many people read or liked his blog, he would probably fare reasonably well. If Marvin the Paranoid Android had a blog equivalent, this would be it.

2 points

Post:

I confess - I am the Grinch. And I am notoriously grinchy for getting upset at spelling mistakes and letting it ruin the whole post. I'm going to try not to let this happen this one time, but I will go apopleptic if a second post grabs on to a misspelling and runs with
it. I think the redeeming factor was that Owen apparently realized his error around point 5. That said, the correct spelling is "bagel"...even in the UK, I believe. How Owen managed to list every single known mistake made when preparing a bagel is simply amazing. Fortunately, this whole 8-step ordeal can be simplified and made error-free simply by asking for the right Christmas gift. Oh... and it's "Feud", as in "Family Feud"...

3 points

Challenge Question:

Here, Owen shows that he has a spark of creativity waiting to burst into flame. His response was succinct, no-nonsense, and amusing; though I don't understand what he has against cats. His tendency towards self-effacing humor and irreverent jab at Star Trek scored this entry points. He's got potential.

4 points

View from the Pew

Site:
Looking back in my KOTB archives, I recollect that I dealt quite harshly with those who used blog*s--t blogs. For a long time in the far past, there were tremendous problems with blogger's inability to provide comments or trackbacks, and it's completely dysfunctional archiving capability. Fortunately, it looks like the past is behind them in this regard, and to Warren's credit, he makes full use of Blogger's new capabilities.

There's nothing fancy about the View from the Pew blog; it's a rather bland template and color scheme; and there are no snazzy graphics to hog our bandwith or distract our attention. Still, the sidebars seem to be well-organized and warren's email address is prominently visible. I would recommend that if Warren should become King of the Blogs or aspire to accomplish greater things with his site, he should seriously look into providing a more visible separation between posts,
and a more readable color scheme in the sidebar.

His posts, however, are nothing short of eloquent and well-written. He always has something positive to say; even his jabs at pop culture are surprisingly upbeat. And he has everything to gain by inserting a bit of flattery in his introductory post toward yours truly.Overall, the blog could use a few visual improvements, but the writing more than
makes up for it.

4 points

Post:
Great post! This was a well-written effort that effectively mixed theology with profound geekiness, in the flavor of the popular satiric model, Girlfriend 2.0. Plus, it gets Warren's point across far better than any protracted preachiness could ever hope to accomplish.

5 points

Challenge Question:
Talk about flights of fancy..... this one reaches new heights at its peak; unfortunately, the post,like Icarus, falls short of its goal. I appreciate the Monty Python reference (and the Hitchiker's Guide reference as well)... and, of course, the parrot's only resting, isn't it?

3 points

News from the Great Beyond

King of the Blogs Tournament: Week One Judging!

Be gentle on me, I'm new at this judging thing. Heh.

Round one of the new, revived King of the Blogs tournament is in the books... Pretenders to the throne, take note: The one

and only QUEEN OF THE BLOGS is preparing to pass judgment.

Overall Blog/Design

I Hate My Cubicle: OK, first. Blinking banner ads? Annoying. And having three of them above the fold is nearly enough to inspire epileptic seizures. But if I wanted to sign up for a free iPod, I suppose I know where to go. Hear that folks?

Want a free iPod? Go see I Hate My Cubicle. The message board is a catchy little gadget, and gives the reader a sense of community", so I'm calling it a plus. But aside from the names "RAT" and "Steve" on various posts, this whole site feels pretty anonymous to me. Who are these "RAT" and "Steve" people? What do they like (other than boobies and free iPods)? There are volumes of content, but most of it very impersonal - strange video clips, miscellaneous news stories with pictures, and lots and lots of advertising. As far as the site graphic design goes, the design is pretty simple and clean - black/gray on white, with red links. And may I say, you need it to be simple and clean, because with the large graphics and photos accompanying nearly everly post, any other scheme would be disgustingly busy. And let's not forget the blinking ads. *twitch* On a scale of 1 (low) to 5 (high), I Hate My Cubicle gets a 2.5.

illogicology: I've seen this particular Blogspot template a half a zillion times while surfing Blog Explosion, and I think it works well. It's clean, uncluttered, and easy to read (if you don't have issues with white text on a black background, which I don't). I'll forgive the typo in the tag line, because I think the tag line itself is quirky and catchy. It suits Owen's apparent apathy very well. There's a picture of the blogger, and a link to his profile, which helps us to care a bit more about what he says, even if it's that he doesn't care what we think. Harvey will have a whole host of "things he likes to see in a blog" comments for you, and his constructive criticism helped shape my personal "things I like to see in a blog" list, so I won't run through them all. I'll just say this: get yourself set up with Haloscan or something for comments and trackback. The Blogger comment system is teh suck. And once you've been at this blogging thing for a while longer, a search feature for your archives (like a Google search box) is going to come in really handy... as long as you don't drive all your readers away with your apathy. illogicology earns a 3, for now.

View from the Pew: One little nitpicky comment: whatever graphics you were supposed to have in your header do not appear in either IE 6.0 (which I use at work) or Firefox (which I use at home)... I'm left with two blank boxes and the little "missing image" icon. Otherwise, working comments and trackback are a definite plus, as well as searchable archives. I'd like to see a link to an "about me" page or post - I have been reading View from the Pew for a while, and you're pretty open with personal details in many of your posts, but a new visitor to the site would probably appreciate a short introduction to who Warren is. The overall design is pretty nice - the sidebars get a little busy, but who am I to complain? Mine has been getting that way for a while now. The color scheme is simple and readable... but my personal preference would be a little more pizzazz. I'd suggest a new banner graphic header, for instance - it doesn't have to be all that complex, but it would give your site a bit of punch and personality. Hubby-head and I have made all of the banner graphics at News from the Great Beyond ourselves, using Photoshop and 1001 Free Fonts. Well, I take that back, we've used Illustrator to help create the Thanksgiving banner and the original montage banner, and I did use a 3-D graphics generator for the wording on that montage one. But you can do wonders with Photoshop and a Google image search. If you like, I'd be glad to work with you to create one. Or maybe your readers will chip in to help you get a skin from BlogMoxie or something. Overall, the site is a good one and the technical details are in place. View from the Pew gets a 3.5.

Submitted Post

I Hate My Cubicle: Oh look! A personal story! I now feel that I know a bit about Steve, only because he has had an intensely frustrating experience with bad customer service at Fry's Electronics. Hubby-head has a love/hate relationship with Fry's, so I can identify with this just a hair. As long chronological rants go, this one was well-told... but worth the crown? Eh, that's iffy. I'll give it a 3.5.

illogicology: I'm trying to decide if this is quirky and charming, with Capitalization and speeling Errers included for flavor, or an example of supreme apathy. I've decided I don't care. illogicology gets a 2. It would be lower, but there is a certain quirky charm to it.

View from the Pew: Ahh, a serious, thought-provoking post. Lest anyone accuse me of bias toward theological posts, I must admit that other blogs I read (like the Thinklings or Mysterium Tremendum) frequently lose my interest when they get deep into theology. This post is very accessible to a non-seminarian, the software metaphor is carried throughout, and your point is easily understood. I'm giving you a 4 for execution.

Challenge Post

I Hate My Cubicle: Steve has the makings of a fine congressman, I see... You know, in 1996 I voted for Steve Forbes in the Presidential primaries, so I'm with you on this "flat tax" thing. In fact, are you Steve Forbes? I see potential in this entry, you have demonstrated a good grasp of the absurd, but the creativity is sadly lacking. My first foray into KotB competition had similar results, but I learned quickly from King Bill's example. Next time, don't just answer the question.

Steve. You're better than this. Another 3.5.

illogicology: You lost me on the cat thing, Owen. If you had cared enough to follow Nick's suggestions and find out what the judges like, you'd know that I'm very fond of cats. I do, however appreciate the other proposed laws, and your mandatory Star Trek re-enactments makes a fine mental image. Hee. Another example of pretty good ideas, but a lack of creativity in presentation. I'm giving it a 3.5.

View from the Pew: Bravo! Creative presentation, quirky and fun answers, and bonus points for the reference to the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. Take note, future competitors - this is how it's done. The only way it could have been better is some shameless sucking up to the judges, or perhaps creative use of Photoshop. There is room for improvement in future rounds... so, View from the Pew's challenge post gets a 4.5.

TOTALS:

I Hate My Cubicle: 9.5
illogicology: 8.5
View from the Pew: 12

Bad Example:

KING OF THE BLOGS: JUDGMENT DAY

So we've got these three guys who think they have what it takes to be King of the Blogs.

And this is me telling two of them they're more full of crap than Michael Moore is full of Twinkies.

THE CHALLENGE QUESTION:

If you were to become king over another planet what 3 laws would you pass, what ridiculous thing would you make your subjects do to humor you, and what would your title be?

Steve of I Hate My Cubicle!!!
GOOD POINTS: Manages to legitimately work an obscenity into his answer, thus confounding Nick's request for wholesomeness. A good monarch knows how to thumb his nose at those claiming some right of "authority". Fight the power!
BAD POINTS: When asked for 3 laws, gives 6. Maybe Steve should be applying for a position with the Federal Government.
SCORE: 3

Owen of illogicology
GOOD POINTS: Has two typos in his post. A good monarch knows when to break with trite conventions, and as King, a word is spelled the way you DECREE that it's spelled, and Mme. Guillotine awaits non-conformists. Also, bonus for mocking AOL.
BAD POINTS: Makes known his passion for Star Trek TOS, yet COMPLETELY blows the chance to use the line: "A question... Since before your sun burned hot in space, and before your race was born, I have awaited a question." Damned slipshod of you, your

Royal Sarcasticness.
SCORE: 3.5

Warren of View from the Pew
GOOD POINTS: Weaves all three answers seamlessly into a single coherant post, thus avoiding the drab drollery of step-by-step listing. Bonus for providing explanatory linkage on the more obscure terms like "Brockian Ultra-Cricket".
BAD POINTS: AAAAAAH! Hacker-speak! "j00 R0><0r5" *shudder*
SCORE: 5

SUBMITTED ENTRY:

I Hate My Cubicle!!!
GOOD POINTS: Truly makes the reader feel his pain as he recounts a recent customer service disaster with Fry's Electronics.
BAD POINTS: Language, Mister! There's a PG-13 requirement on submitted posts. Although colorful metaphors don't bother this old sailor personally, you have to THINK OF THE CHILDRENTM
SCORE: 3

illogicology
GOOD POINTS: Continues blithely on with typo theme while making me hungry with his delicious bagel recipe. Owen should consider submitting this to the Carnival of the Recipes, if for no other reason than yonder round-up could use a little comic relief.
BAD POINTS: Fails to explain the difference between a bread knife and a butter knife for uncouth slobs like myself who think that a spoon handle makes a servicable substitute for either.
SCORE: 3.5

View from the Pew
GOOD POINTS: Makes a credible analogy between theology and software. Even being religiously "none-of-the-above" as I am, I found the piece intriguing.
BAD POINTS: Those "patches" he mentioned would've been more understandable to me if he'd given links to examples. I had no idea if he was referring to actual creeds, or just groin-kicking straw men. Also, he plagiarizes Owen's "typo" schtick with this line: "Go is waiting for YOU to act..." without crediting his source. BAD Owen!
SCORE: 4.5

WHOLE BLOG REVIEW - TECHNICAL MERIT AND PERSONALITY:

Here are some technical things I like to see on a blog:

King of the Blogs javascript thingy in the sidebar
Comments enabled
Permalinks working
E-mail contact info available
Blogger's name/pseudonym prominently displayed
Site search feature enabled
Link to an "About Me" post on the sidebar
Blogger's gender is easily discernable
Blogroll
Readable font style & size
Readable color scheme (for example, NOT bright red type on bright green
background)
Divisions between posts clearly marked
Paragraphing in entries (NOT just writing one fat block of text)

Aside from the tech stuff, I also like to see a blogger's personality shining through, to
remind us of the person behind the words.

With that in mind...

I Hate My Cubicle!!!
No KotB javascript thingy. That's BAD. Come on Steve... you're Paris Hiltoning yourself out to every blog-pimping organization known to man, yet you won't give this contest a little back-alley quickie in your sidebar? I feel snubbed, so

I'm snubbing back on the score, which by rights should be 0.

However, I *do* enjoy the fact that Steve has a "work-safe" version of his blog available. That's a right handy feature, so I'm giving a consolation point. Don't get me wrong Steve, it's a great site, and I'm blogrolling it because I like scantily-clad women, but you're just not a good fit for KotB.

SCORE: 1

illogicology
Very welcoming. Owen's got his picture and profile right up near the top of the sidebar. A more detailed "About Me" post would be a nice touch, but I won't ding him for that.

Owen's big problem is the complete lack of a blogroll. Indeed, a complete lack of linkage in any post. Seems the young man has problems with html and needs to Google up a basic tutorial somewhere.

Meanwhile, Owen, look in your template for this line:

!-- Begin #sidebar --

and post links to your favorite blogs under it like this (substitute < and > for [ and ]):

[A HREF="http://badexample.mu.nu/"]Bad Example[/A]

Now, even though Owen's blog isn't particularly attractive or fancy, I give him personality points for a couple things...

First, he spent some extra time blogging about KotB (here and here, for example) and the display of enthusiasm is wonderful.

Second, he's capable of some stunning writing - like this poem.

I don't think he's quite ready to grab the KotB crown yet, but I see a LOT of potential in this young blogger. After he learns a bit of code & spruces things up a bit, I'd like to see him try again, assuming he doesn't win this time.

Two parting gifts for Owen:

1 - Haloscan will auto-install their far-better-than-native-Blogger comments AND trackback features, as I explain here.

2 - Some tips on getting more attention to your blog, which I think you deserve.

SCORE: 3

View from the Pew
The Bible-search feature is pretty spiffy, and more or less makes up for the lack of an "About Me" post. Warren should really consider one so his readers can get to know him a little better. He seems worth knowing. Outside of that, the only real complaint I have is that the permalink at the bottom of each post is a little too close to the title of the next post. He might consider either adding some white space under the permalink link, or perhaps slipping in a horizontal line to make the division clearer.

I'd also recommend putting the comment & trackback links at the BOTTOM of each post, because that's where your reader is going to be when he finishes the entry, so you want to have those links ON THE SCREEN when he's ready to talk back to you.

More convenience equals more comments.

SCORE: 4.5

FINAL TALLY:

I Hate My Cubicle!!!: 7
illogicology: 10
View from the Pew: 14

Interview with Judge Harvey

Here is my recent interview with Harvey, judge and blogmaster at Bad Example:

1. What do you feel makes you a good judge?

2. What do you suggest the Pretenders do to assure themselves the
crown, at least from your perspective?

3. Why are you such a Bad Example? Is it possibly due to your 18 years
living among the wild gorillas?

4. In a fight between Homer Simpson and Fred Flintstone who would win?

5. Would it be a good idea for the Pretenders to send him marked up
$1 bills, to cover all their bases, creative bribes, as well as
monetary?

Challenge Question Responses Are In!

Here is the Challenge Question:

If you were to become king over another planet what 3 laws would you pass, what ridiculous thing would you make your subjects do to humor you, and what would your title be?

The Responses:

I Hate My Cubicle
illogicology
View from the Pew

That's it for now! Be sure to support your favorite Pretender by tracking back to this post. Mention the blog of your choice in your entry. Whichever blog gets the most trackbacks gains 3 extra points once again. Need help sending a trackback? Say no more! Go to this site, and use Wizbang's Standalone Trackback Pinger.

Interview with Illogicology

I decided to interview the author of one of the competing blogs this week; Illogicology. Below is an excerpt from that interview.

When he was notified that he was being interviewed for the King of the Blogs, his initial reaction spoke volumes, "Ooh an interview. How spectacularly glamorous."

1. Ok, first of all what is with the name of your site? Did you intend on spelling it that way? And what does it mean?

Site names can be phenomenally difficult to come up with. I was originally going to go for Illogicoly Logicoly. This was to be all paradoxical and weird so lots of people would look and say "That's Clever because it makes sense and it dosn't at the same time." However the only drawback was it sounded terrible. Abreviated to Illogicology I have created a nice new word that before only existed in the hearts of those with poor grammar. As for a meaning it is very similar to the Latin "Illius Ogicolius" which translates to "Owen's Blog"

2. Do you think your announcement on your blog that you "can't be bothered" with Trackbacks or the bribery of the judges will hurt your chances in the contest?

Impossible. I feel that my chances in this contest have been unaltered. 1/3 reduced due to lack of intention and effort = 0/3. I feel it's hard to reduce it anymore. Hell if I win the crown I'll consider rewarding the judges later.

3. You have listed among your reasons for why you should win is that "I don't post pictures of cats". Do you have something personal against cats? Were you attacked by a cat as a child?

Ah the domestic Cat. Parent of all that is evil. Were you aware Judas was half cat? No Neither was I but I'm sure it's true. However visit half of the blogs in the universe and you will find these false idols glorified on every page. The cats rule the earth and now they seek to rule the internet. I consider myself a freedom fighter.

So there you have it, our first "freedom fighter" Pretender. Good luck to you.

King of the Blog Tournament: Week 1

Hello,

Welcome to the return of the King of the Blog Tournament! This week we have 3 blogs squaring off for the crown:

Good luck to all three Pretenders. The judges for the tournament are as follows:

and on to the entries:

For submitted post:

I Hate My Cubicle: Adventures In Retailing - Fry's Electronics
illogicology: A step by Step Guide to the construction of my Bagels
View from the Pew: Open Source Theology

and this weeks Challenge Question:

If you were to become king over another planet what 3 laws would you pass, what ridiculous thing would you make your subjects do to humor you, and what would your title be?

The Responses:

illogicology
View from the Pew

That's it for now! Be sure to support your favorite pretender by linking to THIS post and tracking back to it. Mention the blog of your choice in the entry. Whichever blog gets the most trackbacks gains 3 extra points once again. Need help sending a trackback? Say no more! Go to this site, and use Wizbang's Standalone Trackback Pinger.

A Few Notices

On Sunday night the poll to the side will have the three competing blogs listed. Whoever wins this poll will get 3 extra points, a huge sum in this game. Also I will be posting a tournament post to start the game for this week under the title:

If you like one of the three blogs post and trackback to this post and voice your support. Whichever blog gets the most trackbacks gains 3 extra points once again. Need help sending a trackback? Say no more! Go to this site, and use Wizbang's Standalone Trackback Pinger. Nifty.

We Begin Monday!

On Monday I will officially kick off the King of the blogs Tournament, and I hope all will enjoy. Here is a timeline, constructed by Stephen, to explain what should ideally happen:

Timeline for the KOTB

Sunday- Host Give Out Challenge Question Late that Night
Monday - Contestants Submit Personal Post; Links posted on the Tournament Site
Wednesday - Contestants Submit Challenge Question Response; Links posted on the Tournament Site
Thursday - Friday - Judging; All Entries for the Odds Contest Due by
Saturday - Announcement of new KOTB
The King of the Blog reigns during his challenge the following week

The winnder of the Odds Contest will be announced on Saturday along with the KOTB winner.

Get in Line For Future Tournaments

Wanna try for the crown? Leave a comment below, or even better, fill out the form to the left and we'll get you hooked up. The banner above is for the Odds Contest. Predict the final results and win a free ad. I'll even throw in an ad on Patriot Paradox, a blog that gets around 400 hits a day.

Good luck!

Interview with the Commissioner

Recently I had the chance to interview the illustrious Commissioner of the King of the Blogs. Here is the interview, which may prove relevant for those attempting to triumph in the competition.

1. What made you decide to come out of retirement and become the first Commissioner for the King of the Blogs?

When Nick first asked me, I was reminded of a scene from Where is the Cheat where Coach Z says "Hey look! The King's gone mad with power!" It was then that I understood that this was my destiny. (By the way, did you know that I now actually have the power to fire Nick? Perhaps that is why he is being so nice to me as of late.)

2. Are you looking forward to having to act as arbitrator or would you prefer things runs smoothly and you are left alone?

What I really would like to see is a couple of high profile controversies which appear to be difficult but are really simple. After a few Solomonesque judgments to establish my reputation, I would prefer things stay quiet, very quiet. Quiet enough that I don't have to do lift a finger but still get the free link to my blog (it's over there to the left).

3. It is said that to win the King of the Blogs, it helps to butter up the judges. Do you think it is also a good idea for Pretenders to suck up to the Commissioner as well?

Strategically thinking, why waste energy bribing three different judges when it is so much more efficient to focus on the one person who has veto power over everything. Instead, butter up the Commissioner and treat the judges with contempt; then when they rule against you, issue a formal complaint.

Of course, this works both ways. If the judges don't want to be embarrassed by being overruled all the time, it would behoove them to send a few goodies my direction as well.

4. What are the best ways to suck up to you?

Great question! I can see you have some interview experience. Links are always accepted as are cash or live animal donations. I know the government is not really that keen on people shipping firearms, so despite my need to exercise the 2nd Amendment, sending weapons would probably be considered "bad form".

(I have a 6 year old daughter and feel an urgent need to establish a most impressive arsenal prior to her attaining puberty.)

5. Is there anything that a Pretender should NEVER do? Something that will instantly get on your bad side?

You know, nothing really comes to mind here. There are some clichés which invoke seizures, like "taking my game to the next level", so don't use that one or any of its kin. Using suggestive images or porn is also a major dead end. Never understood why people get worked up about pixels on a screen. But then, maybe they don't have live access to my Queen (May She Live Forever).

6. What is the best piece of advice you can offer the folks vying for the crown?

Funny is always good. Clever is helpful but only when it is coupled with funny. If you are depending on serious thought or demonstrations of intellect to earn a new hat, you are not ready for this game. Writing skills are useful at times, but again I defer to the first two items.

Be funny, be clever, and if you are going to have typos, make sure they are both funny and clever. Your bribes should also be funny and clever…and expensive.

KOTB Update

So far we have two blogs signed up, and one more we are waiting to hear from:

illogicology
View From the Pew

Still waiting:

The Aggressive Progressive

Just An Update

I am really hoping to start on Monday. So far I have only one participant, and two emails out awaiting a response. If you are wanting to play just feel out the form to the left and we'll contact you asap. We are always seekign participants.

Final Rules For the King of the Blog Tournament

1. A blog can only hold the crown for 3 consecutive tournaments. If they are beaten they can return to try again in the next one, but once a blog reaches three consecutive wins they are retired into the Hall of Kings. More plans on the Hall later.
2. A total of 3 blogs, two Pretenders and the reigning King or in the case of no sitting King that week due to the 3 consecutive wins rule then there will be 3 Pretenders, go into the tournament at one time. A tournament lasts one week, and then starts over. They are judged on:

   A. General blogginess (site design and so forth)
   B. Creativity (the legendary challenge question)
   C. A submitted post they select to be judged

   The judges write their thoughts and award points on a scale of one to five, five being the best. The challenge post must be posted on their blog to be eligible.



3. The winner from each week moves on to the next tournament, and must place the winning button on their site within 48 hours of victory or forfeit the crown. The runner-up then would become King. Exceptions are made on a case by case basis, and will only be made if the winners site is down or other technical website issues only. If they don't have it they are ineligible. Also all blogs participating in the tournament must have the King of the Blogs info on their page to be given out later.


4. All blogs participating in the tournament must display the javascript of the King of the Blog Tournament. If unable to display the javascript a button will be allowed. This must be present within 24 hours of the start of the current tournament.


5. Each blog will also be given a chance for two ways to gain extra points for their cause of becoming king. The first will involve a web poll maintained on the King of the Blogs site with each Pretender entered into the poll. The blog that ranks first will gain 3 points to their total score, the second 2, and the last 1 for mercy.

   The second method is the Trackback Showdown. Each week the blogs going into the tournament can gain extra points by having their fellow bloggers tracking back to the main contest post for that week starting the contest. Those blogs must link to the tournament post and mention the blog they support in that post. Each blog is allowed to support only one blog, and a link from the competing blogs does not count as support. It must be a blog not in the competition at that time. To identify the current tournament post look for the one that gives information on how to trackback to the post. The person who gets the most will once again get 3, the second 2 and third 1. If you are unable to get trackbacks there will be no points awarded. If you run multiple blogs those other blogs don't count either toward Trackbacks



6. All blogs participating must adhere to a PG-13 rating on their blog. No excessive profanity, or gratuitous nudity or sexual content allowed please. If a Pretender has entered and breaks these rules in the tournament they will be banished from the tournament. The decision regarding whether a site is PG-13 will be made by the co-hosts together and is final.


7. Rules can only be tweaked or changed at the end of a month. The rule change must be agreed on by a majority of the hosts and the Commissioner. Example: If in week two of May an issue comes up that needs tweaking the rule must be agreed upon by 2 out of three of the above, and then the rule will go in effect the first tournament of June.


8. All judges words are final. If a Pretender feels they were the victim of bias on any account they may appeal to the Commissioner. The Commissioner will hear from both sides and be final arbiter between the two parties. His word is final. Any judge who is found to be biased three times is banished.


9. All ties are ruled by the co-hosts in a rotating schedule. The first week will be done by Patriot Paradox. The week after Christweb. If a host ever leaves the new host takes over their rotation. Their word is final on ties.


10. If a king forfeits the crown by his own volition then the second runner up to the throne ascends to the crown. This will not count as his first week of ruling and he will be allowed his own three weeks once he wins in his own right.


11. When a judge leaves he will pick his replacement from the Hall of Kings. If no king is willing to judge the seat will be open to the general public at the discretion of the judge or the hosts.

KOTB Statement: Stephen McCaskill, former King of the Blog, Signs On to Co-Host the New King of the Blog

Stephen McCaskill of Christ Web, the first King to win back-to back in the Original King of the Blogs Tournament, has signed on to become the co-host of the New King of the Blogs. He will host next to the creator of the tournament Nick Queen, and will share responsibilities to keep the tournament moving along at a quick pace. Asked to make a statement about his coming onboard he was heard muttering something about us all ruing the day he signed on.

King of the Blogs Announcement: All Hail the Commish

We are pleased to announce that the King of Fools has signed on to be the Commissioner on the King of the Blogs tournament. His duties are as follows:

1. A player may appeal to him if he or she feels a judge unfairly judged them based on political bias, or otherwise. The Commissioner's word is final
2. To make witty comments for use in quotes when asked

When asked for a witty comment he responded:

The King then sauntered out and was heard to tell a staffer to "Let them eat birthday cake." When asked by the press if he will be making a statement he replied that one would be issuing an edict forth at his whim at the royal blog.

Want to Be King of the Blogs?

Leave a comment here to join up and be considered for the first King of the Blog Tournament! Currently we are seeking 3 blogs.

First tournament slate:

1. Spare Change
2. Still Open
3. Still Open

Second Tournament:

1. Reigning King
2. Still Open
3. Still Open

The Rules Thus Far

* A blog can only hold the crown for 3 consecutive tournaments. If they are beat they can return to try again in the next one, but once a blog reaches three consecutive wins they are retired into the Hall of Kings. More plans on the Hall later.

* A total of 3 blogs go into the tournament at one time. A tournament lasts one week, and then starts over. They are judged on general blogginess (site design and so forth), Creativity (the legendary challenge question) and a post they select to be judged. The judges write their thoughts and award points on a scale of one to five, five being the best. The challenge post must be posted on their blog to be eligible.

* The winner from each week moves on to the next tournament, and must place the winning button on their site. If they don't have it they are ineligible. Also all blogs participating in the tournament must have the King of the Blogs info on their page to be given out later.

Testing the Crowns and Java

and the java: